23 Lies We Self-Administer
Liar, liar, pants on fire. It’s a school yard ditty you wouldn’t necessarily associate with yourself. And yet you tell yourself lies all the time – we all do. We make up stories that are so darn convincing, they feel real. I’m curious – which lies resonate with you? (I’m wrestling with 19 & 20…)
- If I am perfect, I will avoid criticism and be immune to pain.
- My past determines my future.
- Worrying is a way of controlling a situation and it’s outcome.
- I must take up the toxicity that others dish out, and carry it for hours, maybe even days (weeks/months/years).
- I believe my thoughts, especially the self-critical ones.
- Avoiding disapproval will keep me safe and liked.
- Holding onto resentment means that I can continue punishing someone who has done me wrong. This gives me power and superiority.
- Quitting is always a bad thing.
- Pain, discomfort and risk are to be avoided at all costs.
- If I am vulnerable, people will think less of me.
- I need others to validate my talent, success and good-enoughness.
- I need to be confident and 100% prepared before I begin working on anything (…If I’m a surgeon or pilot, ignore and proceed to number 13).
- When others are short with me, or are in a bad mood, I suspect it has something to do with me.
- I must do everything myself. Asking for help means I’m a wuss, and can’t cope.
- I override all physical signs that things are too much. My mind is in charge.
- My personality is fixed. This is how I am.
- Life happens to me. I do not have power. Other people have power.
- I must be in control at all times – my environment, my diary, my hair…
- Work needs to be hard and terribly serious. I am suspicious if something is easy and fun. If it’s fun, it can’t be any good.
- My value is based on my output.
- I negatively rehearse what could go wrong, and focus on this. It’s called realism, baby.
- Other people have their lives together. They’ve got it all figured out. There is something wrong with me.
- I’m not brave. In fact, I’m afraid and unsure a lot of the time. Courage must be something you’re born with.