23 Lies We Self-Administer

Liar, liar, pants on fire. It’s a school yard ditty you wouldn’t necessarily associate with yourself. And yet you tell yourself lies all the time – we all do. We make up stories that are so darn convincing, they feel real. I’m curious – which lies resonate with you? (I’m wrestling with 19 & 20…)

  1.  If I am perfect, I will avoid criticism and be immune to pain.
  2.  My past determines my future.
  3.  Worrying is a way of controlling a situation and it’s outcome.
  4.  I must take up the toxicity that others dish out, and carry it for hours, maybe even days (weeks/months/years).
  5.  I believe my thoughts, especially the self-critical ones.
  6.  Avoiding disapproval will keep me safe and liked.
  7.  Holding onto resentment means that I can continue punishing someone who has done me wrong.  This gives me power and superiority.
  8.  Quitting is always a bad thing.
  9.  Pain, discomfort and risk are to be avoided at all costs.
  10.  If I am vulnerable, people will think less of me.
  11.  I need others to validate my talent, success and good-enoughness.
  12.  I need to be confident and 100% prepared before I begin working on anything (…If I’m a surgeon or pilot, ignore and proceed to number 13).
  13.  When others are short with me, or are in a bad mood, I suspect it has something to do with me.
  14.  I must do everything myself.  Asking for help means I’m a wuss, and can’t cope.
  15.  I override all physical signs that things are too much.  My mind is in charge.
  16.  My personality is fixed.  This is how I am.
  17.  Life happens to me.  I do not have power.  Other people have power.
  18.  I must be in control at all times – my environment, my diary, my hair…
  19.  Work needs to be hard and terribly serious.  I am suspicious if something is easy and fun.  If it’s fun, it can’t be any good.
  20.  My value is based on my output.
  21.  I negatively rehearse what could go wrong, and focus on this.  It’s called realism, baby.
  22.  Other people have their lives together.  They’ve got it all figured out.  There is something wrong with me.
  23.  I’m not brave.  In fact, I’m afraid and unsure a lot of the time.  Courage must be something you’re born with.