Blog: Do You Over-Yes?

August 18th, 2016 LIKE WHAT YOU READ? SHARE IT!

You buy books that you don’t have time to read. You’ve signed up for online courses that you never even started (yep, me too). You fantasize about sleeping for weeks.

Your default response to “How are you?” is a wild-eyed “SO busy!”  Add a few arm flails for effect.

You start your day feeling buried, and your inbox, well, lets just say it makes you want to do your dead fly impression.

Your energy and mojo left the building in 1977.

So you search (and search, and search) for the magic something that’ll give you the Instagram lifestyle and resuscitate your moxie.

Sound familiar?

You, my dear, might be suffering from chronic overwhelm (been there too).

It often comes from over-yes-ing. I’m inventing a term here.

This happens when we agree to take on even more, thinking it will make us more valued, happy and successful.

We over-yes when we don’t know what we really want.

Over-yes-ing is a sign that we’re groping in the dark for something that we can’t really articulate, except that it’s more than what we currently have.

It sucks, right?

We over-yes because we don’t want to miss out.

The irony is, we miss out precisely because we over-yes.

The freaky-outty part of us gets fuelled by comparing ourselves to others, who seem to have the “something more” that we’re frantically searching for. I call it comparisonitis. It triggers heaping on more “doing” and chasing to close the gap.

That sh*t stops here.

This is an invitation to get curious about your chronic overwhelm.

What do YOU really want? What’s a real priority?

When you start building your curiosity muscles, you can sit quietly with these important questions. And the dizzy-dancing freedom that comes from knowing what you want makes “No” your new BFF.

The people who really have it goin’ on – they’re not worried about FOMO (the Fear Of Missing Out).

They’re not comparing themselves relentlessly with others.

They are too busy focusing on creating a life and way of serving that juices them up.


Bored of over-yes-ing?  Get curious…

If you want to learn how to build your own curiosity muscles to help with overwhelm (and asking for help, and being braver and loads of other juicy things), join me on this episode of MoxieCast. My guest John-Paul Flintoff is a curiosity ninja, and is full of useful, practical tips. Listen in here.

Who is John-Paul Flintoff?  He’s a writer, performer and coach who has unusually broad life experience. He wrote for the Financial Times and The Sunday Times for 15 years, and has also worked as a high-wire window cleaner, a rat catcher, an assistant undertaker, a tailor, gardener, poet and PA – amongst other things.  He also teaches life-changing courses at The School of Life in London.  He’s funny, witty and wise, and the birds are singing at one point in our interview – listen out for them. How lovely.  

Tune in here.



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“Transformational, life-enhancing stuff.” Joanna Chin, COO, Langland