MoxieCast 009: How to Stop People-Pleasing with Jason Goldberg
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People pleasing is an addiction.
We trade our time, energy and personal preferences for scraps of approval from others. It’s transactional: I over-give and over-do, and you give me crumbs of good-enoughness and validation.
When you do that, I feel valued and important and good about myself for a little while. But these morsels of approval don’t last, do they? Soon the sorry cycle starts again. Sound familiar?
Here’s another thing – the person who you’re over-giving to usually has NO IDEA that you’re bartering away your time and energy for a hit of approval from them.
But you know. You know because it feels warm and like relief for a moment, then it quickly feels cold and icky…the emotional equivalent of peeing your pants.
If you’ve ever face-palmed, because “Oops, I did it again,” today’s show is for you.
Jason “JG” Goldberg is at the mic today. JG is a sock aficionado and a former rapper – how’s that for a combination?
He’s also a transformational speaker, coach, trainer, and international best-selling author of Prison Break: Vanquish the Victim, Own Your Obstacles, and Lead Your Life.
Jason is also one of the funniest people I know; somebody who makes me snort laugh regularly. If you like having fun while you learn, check out Jason’s Not-So-Serious University.
- How to examine your motivations for wanting to be “nice” and to people-please
- How to handle feelings of unworthiness (or not being good/talented/smart enough)
- A revolutionary technique called “Winning by Whining”
- Why you need boundaries (how to say, “I love you and NO”)
- The best advice JG ever received, a skill he wishes he had, and what he does to snap out of feeling annoyed
I can promise some big takeaways from this funny conversation.
I can’t promise, though, that you won’t hear a few groaners…But don’t let that put you off.
Join us. This is gonna be fun.
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Quotes by Jason Goldberg (I can see the middle one as a tattoo):
“When I people-please, the motivation is murky.”
“Creativity is greater than circumstance.”
“Brick walls are meant to keep people out. Boundaries are meant to keep people in.”