MoxieCast 021: Monica Day on How to Have Better (Wilder, More Connected) SEX


I have wanted to talk about SEX on Moxie Cast for a long time, but I’ve struggled to find intelligent, sensitive and thought-provoking content that still felt a bit GRRRR. Then I met Monica Day.

She’s smart.

She’s sassy.

And most importantly, she’ll mess with your thinking about the sex you’re having.

We talk about creating more intentional eroticism in our lives. She describes sex as being just one data point on the continuum of sensuality – one that we tend to fixate on as a ‘goal,’ or somewhere to get to. Changing that fixation can shift everything.

Monica takes us back to sensuality. So many of us hunger for a fuller experience, she says. The more intimate, sensual expression we create in our lives, the more likely we are to have better and more fulfilling sex (and yes, sometimes that even includes intercourse).

Even if you are not in a physical relationship right now, I still invite you to listen. There is so much here about habitualizing sensation and sensuality for ourselves.

Some highlights of the show include:

  • The paradox of passion: You want hot monkey sex AND you want your partner to take out the trash
  • Defibrillating a comatose sex life when you’re octopussing kids, work and the other gazillion things on your list
  • Why showing up with flowers and candy may not make her vagina tingle
  • Feathers? Neck ties? How to try new stuff when you feel shy and awkward
  • Why waiting to be in the mood is the silent killer of your sex life

Please join this juicy conversation with Monica Day – with background door scratches from my puppy, Herbie, who was desperate to join in the fun….


Links and Resources:

Monica Day

The Sensual Life

Play Wild, Stay Safe

Mating in Captivity



“Our sexual energy is dynamic; it’s not static. It’s not something that lives in the closet with your sex toys… it’s responsive to where we are in our lives.”

“The industry of romance has crippled us from being able to come to sex from a primal place.”

“You can have a paradigm shift with your mind, but it’s a very different thing to have a paradigm shift with your body.”