You lie to yourself.
We all do.
Agreeing to things (especially if they’re far in the future), means you don’t hurt someone’s feelings in the moment. You get to avoid the awkward conversation where you say ‘No.’ Then the occasion comes and you face palm, asking yourself, ‘Why did I commit to this?’
Because you lied to yourself.
You avoided momentary discomfort. That’s one reason your diary is over-full.
But it’s more than just the people pleasing.
It’s the speed, the hustle, the seductive lie that the faster and harder you push, the more successful you’ll be.
It’s the lack of clarity, too, around what success even means.
What can shift this is having a clear criteria around what is allowed to take up your time and attention.
It’s striving for Effectiveness vs. Efficiency.
It’s putting practices into place that help you decide if something belongs in your life. Simple, but not easy…
This month’s guest is Mark Silverman, author, master coach and speaker. He’s also the creator of the Mastering Midlife Podcast.
Some of today’s highlights include:
- Why pausing and real contemplation are critical, especially in midlife
- A practical question you can use next time someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do
- Setting boundaries (and expecting consequences)
- Spending time getting clear on what a 10/10 looks like – and using that criteria
- Practices to get clear on what YOU want
Mark has a “midlife” angle in this conversation, but his wisdom is relevant for any age.
Links and Resources:
Review MoxieCast on iTunes
“When I talk about midlife, it’s a time when people take stock.” Mark Silverman
“I believe you can achieve more and achieve more of the right things by slowing down.” – Mark Silverman
“Slowing down clears the clutter, and it allows you to create traction in the things that are really, really truly important to your head, heart, and gut.” – Mandy Lehto
“I’m not automatically truthful with myself. I’m a recovering people pleaser.” – Mark Silverman